Get up in the morning.

Hello again after all the drama I had this year. I’ll tell you later when I have time about this. But now I wanna tell this one story about me lately.

You might wonder why I always am late to work. You might tell me to sleep early and wake up early, so I can go to work before getting stuck in a traffic jam…

I can do it all.

I just need to have a lot of courage to get out of bed, and I don’t have enough. It can be hours to collect it. All I wanna do is sleep again until I wake up feeling alright. But I always feel not alright..

Now I’m writing this on my way to work, already late though. But I feel like I couldn’t do anything about that. I feel I always run out of time, even though I’m not. I spend hours to collect the courage to live, spend hours spacing out of nowhere, and lost in my own thought, drowning.

You don’t know how hard just to survive from this. You just know that I was just a lazy ass and ignorant person.

Jakarta, December 10, 2021
– Ayase Kim (on behalf of Astri Pam)

’til the sunset, I am living, then the time stop.